Query Letter
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Agent,
I would like to introduce you to my most recent story, #######.
My first published work was a poem titled A Scary Driver, in The National Poem Anthology. This story, ######, is a detective story of a young boy on the hunt for the Tooth Fairy. With his manipulative sister telling him lies of the Tooth Fairy's evil plan to steal the young boy's teeth, he sets out on a mission to set up traps catching the Tooth Fairy in the act. Once he realizes the truth behind the Tooth Fairy, he sets his sights on bigger and better things; revenge on his deceptive sister. An action packed story in the eyes of a seven year old, the view of the young boy's world is wharped from that of its actuality.
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Agent,
I would like to introduce you to my most recent story, #######.
My first published work was a poem titled A Scary Driver, in The National Poem Anthology. This story, ######, is a detective story of a young boy on the hunt for the Tooth Fairy. With his manipulative sister telling him lies of the Tooth Fairy's evil plan to steal the young boy's teeth, he sets out on a mission to set up traps catching the Tooth Fairy in the act. Once he realizes the truth behind the Tooth Fairy, he sets his sights on bigger and better things; revenge on his deceptive sister. An action packed story in the eyes of a seven year old, the view of the young boy's world is wharped from that of its actuality.
A story with the sense of humor that will reach a market similar to Shrek with a storyline somewhere between Calvin and Hobbes and Rugrats. However, the boy in this story has the ability to become invisible, or so he thinks. When he puts the "magic" street cone over his head (he's small enough to hide underneath it), he can walk around without blowing his cover.
###### is every young boy's fantasy and every young parent's reality. The idea of invisibility captivates kids and at the same time, reminds parents of their children's young ignorance. With the young boy believing the Tooth Fairy is out to steal his teeth, he'll stop at nothing to stop her. But revenge will be ever so sweet upon his evil sister.
I am a young writer from New Jersey and, considering your location in New York City, believe we would make for a perfect match based on our proximity. I have seen what you have done for John Smith and believe you can do the same for me.
I wanna thank you and appreciate you taking the time to read this as I'm sure you are extremely busy. I look forward to speaking with you further about the direction we may be able to take this.
Sincerely,
Brian Arpaia
First Creative Work (TV Scene)
Obvious David Hasselhoff Impersonator: Well, I had a guest appearance on Boy Meets World playing Mr. Feeney's brother-in-law. Other than that, I had a brief stint on Moesha playing the stereotypical white guy from Germany.
Gary: And what do you have planned for St. Patty's Day?
Obvious David Hasselhoff Impersonator: I plan on taking my kids here to the beach and showing them how to perfect the slow motion run. (Pans out to show young children that are obviously not this person's kids)
Second Creative Work (Short Story)
Finally, the cheerleader decided to call both the girl and the running back to come to her dorm room at the same time without either one knowing. There, they would try to debate over which one would get the girl. The cheerleader stopped the both of them and explained that she could not choose between the two of them and that she had other plans. Before getting into an X-rated script we'll just say all three of them lived happily ever after...especially the guy.
Third Creative Work (Treatment)
The story begins with a 7 year old boy who pretends to be a detective. This boy is not like all the other moves you have seen however, because this little guy is not as polite and friendly as you would imagine. He actually is more of a mix between Eric Cartman and Dennis the Menace. The boy believes that he has the superpower of being invisible to others. This is obviously not true. This special power is only available though when he puts on his (object still up in the air...perhaps sunglasses...perhaps a cape...not sure yet).
First Commentary (Extraordinary Appeal of Screen Media)
Second, and this is a problem I have with most reading I am given in the classroom, the author(s) would use bigger words when they were unnecessary. For example, one sentence reads, "...however passingly, ameliorates this noxious circumstance." Why? Why do they need to use these words? It's just one of those things that really chaps my ass that I had to get off my chest before moving forward with this entry.
Second Commentary (Transmedia Storytelling)
In short, you fight all the remaining players that you didn't choose and then finish it with the "boss" as gamers call them (I would've put gamer in quotes but I didn't want to have two words in quotes right next to each other but in reality, anyone who considers themselves a gamer is considered a tool in my book). It doesn't have much of a story line to the game unless you watch the extra movie parts (which I never did since all I wanted to do was kick some ass). In fact, I never understood why the game was such a hit whereas Shaq Fu, a game based around the great basketball player Shaquille O'Neal, was more pathetic than the Average Homeboy.
Third Commentary (Reaction to the WGA Strike)
They state that 50% of the writers in their union earned less than $104,000 last year. THAT MEANS %50 EARNED MORE! There are people around the country earning $20,000 a year doing much harder work than writing useless ideas onto a piece of paper. The XFL lasted longer than most of the television shows today because they are garbage. And don't get me started on the movies that have come out lately (i.e. Cloverfield...harder to watch than Paula Abdul's music video with the cartoon cat). The writers that are most successful will make the most money, whereas the ones who make garbage movies such as Speed 2 will not make good money.
First Creative Work (TV Scene)
Obvious David Hasselhoff Impersonator: Well, I had a guest appearance on Boy Meets World playing Mr. Feeney's brother-in-law. Other than that, I had a brief stint on Moesha playing the stereotypical white guy from Germany.
Gary: And what do you have planned for St. Patty's Day?
Obvious David Hasselhoff Impersonator: I plan on taking my kids here to the beach and showing them how to perfect the slow motion run. (Pans out to show young children that are obviously not this person's kids)
Second Creative Work (Short Story)
Finally, the cheerleader decided to call both the girl and the running back to come to her dorm room at the same time without either one knowing. There, they would try to debate over which one would get the girl. The cheerleader stopped the both of them and explained that she could not choose between the two of them and that she had other plans. Before getting into an X-rated script we'll just say all three of them lived happily ever after...especially the guy.
Third Creative Work (Treatment)
The story begins with a 7 year old boy who pretends to be a detective. This boy is not like all the other moves you have seen however, because this little guy is not as polite and friendly as you would imagine. He actually is more of a mix between Eric Cartman and Dennis the Menace. The boy believes that he has the superpower of being invisible to others. This is obviously not true. This special power is only available though when he puts on his (object still up in the air...perhaps sunglasses...perhaps a cape...not sure yet).
First Commentary (Extraordinary Appeal of Screen Media)
Second, and this is a problem I have with most reading I am given in the classroom, the author(s) would use bigger words when they were unnecessary. For example, one sentence reads, "...however passingly, ameliorates this noxious circumstance." Why? Why do they need to use these words? It's just one of those things that really chaps my ass that I had to get off my chest before moving forward with this entry.
Second Commentary (Transmedia Storytelling)
In short, you fight all the remaining players that you didn't choose and then finish it with the "boss" as gamers call them (I would've put gamer in quotes but I didn't want to have two words in quotes right next to each other but in reality, anyone who considers themselves a gamer is considered a tool in my book). It doesn't have much of a story line to the game unless you watch the extra movie parts (which I never did since all I wanted to do was kick some ass). In fact, I never understood why the game was such a hit whereas Shaq Fu, a game based around the great basketball player Shaquille O'Neal, was more pathetic than the Average Homeboy.
Third Commentary (Reaction to the WGA Strike)
They state that 50% of the writers in their union earned less than $104,000 last year. THAT MEANS %50 EARNED MORE! There are people around the country earning $20,000 a year doing much harder work than writing useless ideas onto a piece of paper. The XFL lasted longer than most of the television shows today because they are garbage. And don't get me started on the movies that have come out lately (i.e. Cloverfield...harder to watch than Paula Abdul's music video with the cartoon cat). The writers that are most successful will make the most money, whereas the ones who make garbage movies such as Speed 2 will not make good money.
1 comment:
Brian--
You know, there is a certain "truthfulness" to your writing that is lacking from many of the other students in class.
There is no sense of pretense whatsoever and, frankly, that's refreshing.
Also, throwing in pop culture references is always a solid idea (I loved the reference to Paula Abdul's 'music video with the cartoon cat'-- hehe).
In fairness, I think your writing could use a little polish, but that is easily accomplished. It's the other stuff-- being brutally honest, having no pretense-- that's difficult to get across to others.
Well done.
A
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